DON'T FENCE ME IN

I was in the midst of watching some exciting college football game (I remember neither the teams nor the score) when 7x70 commercials interrupted my concentration on the players, the referees, the quarter, the down, the yard line, and the coaches. Among the 490 commercials, I remember only one. It had the tagline, “Be Devoted.” It was promoting a jewelry store. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTi18xmMnwY)

I’ll let a professional group’s publication describe the ad: “Jared® Jewelers embraces change with a bold campaign via agency McKinney that celebrates love and devotion in a world where people of all backgrounds “Dare To Be Devoted.” Diverse representation is [an] essential part of the campaign, which was edited by Cut+Run’s Sean Fazende and Directed by Golden Heart Films’ Ryan Booth.

“The spots depict moments where couples are ‘daring to be devoted’ in ways that depart from what might be considered traditional. Roles reversed, reimagined, and reconstructed in moments of celebration both quiet and exuberant: a nightclub engagement; an unexpected moment of surprise in front of strangers; and a couple’s love creating a blended family in a morning campsite proposal.”

All of the “spots” had their problems in my opinion ( the reference to the “nightclub engagement” is quite the understatement)  but the one telling the viewer “to be devoted  by means of a surprise move in front of strangers” was also especially troubling—it showed a young woman on bended knee proudly showing an engagement ring in its open case in public, proposing to her boyfriend. (You read that correctly; a woman proposing marriage to a man.) He accepts, puts the ring on his finger, and boldly holds it up in front of strangers. (In real life, I hope the man would feel silly with a diamond engagement ring on his finger.) It is, as the above article states, a “role reversal.” But, is it more than that? Can it be dismissed with words so simple?

Let’s compare the traditional role of the man on bended knee offering an engagement ring to a woman as a proposal of marriage which she may accept or reject to a fence. A proposal is just that: it is an offer, an asking of permission. In this case, it is the man asking the permission of the woman to enter into the most intimate of relationships with her for the rest of her life.

Such a traditional proposal illustrates the elevation of the woman to a position of respect and honor. It's the honoring of her "Yes," and her "No." The traditional proposal is a statement: "a woman's consent is valued more than a man's desire." (David Marcus) There are fences around marriage, erected around the divine institution (Gen. 2) in order to sanctify it. They're important. The fences aren't just for us; we're to erect them and pass them on to the next generation.

Yet, it is in the fallen nature of man to have an inborn desire to tear down the fences godly generations have erected to protect God's institution of marriage as sacred. Although on a different subject and taken out of context, the theme song of the human race since the Fall is "Don't Fence Me In," sung with a clenched fist pointed heavenward. Fallen man doesn't like to see his desires and plans twarted. But we must be careful.  G. K. Chesterton said, "Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up."